Should I fax this to Future Chris?

I was trying to rewrite parts of my resume, because let's face it, I'm extremely disillusioned with my current job.  Anyway,  I was trying to word my position title so that it didn't include the company jargon.  I realized that I really couldn't say "assistant supervisor," as I don't have other privileges over the other girls.  I just happen to work full-time and know how to assume the supervisor position when necessary.  Then I typed "assistant to the supervisor."  And then I had a depressing realization....

....I am Dwight K. Schrute.

Bears.  Beets.  Battlestar Galactica.

I don't believe you. Continue.

Dear lord.  This is a terrifying thought.  As much as I love Rainn Wilson's performance of such a scarily ambitious, socially inept farmer/salesman, I don't want to be anything like the character!!  I don't want to insist that I hold a position that I really don't!  It's good to highlight your attributes and make them sound attractive, but you can't embellish too much.  At least I can't...I don't BS too well.  I can't even fly through a paper in one night anymore.  I'm just too antsy and nervous. 

However, there is one bit of weird confidence I can take from Dwight. 

Fact:  I have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Let's do that with my own name!

Creative
Helpful
Reliable
Independent
Sincere

That's not too bad.  I'll have to remember that (silently) whenever I get an interview.  Fingers crossed that our luck will change soon!