"Look at me, I'm the King of New York..."

Newsies was a crucial part of my early adolescence.  I'm finally seeing it as a stage production tonight at Paper Mill Playhouse.  It took 19 years for this to finally come to fruition, but I have mixed feelings.  I'm thrilled that Harvey Fierstein wrote the book and that they're decreasing the Medda parts, increasing Spot Conlon's presence, and cutting out Sarah, but I just don't know if I'd be able to handle the other major changes.  I almost feel like a bad fan.  I've barely watched any of the new videos and have rolled my eyes over some of the changes.  I know film and theatre are different mediums, but I think I'm allowed to be snobby and protective over something that saved me when I was a preteen misfit.  


I was 11 years old when Newsies first came out in theatres.  My mom and stepdad took me and my stepbrothers to see it, and it may sound cliche, but we were mesmerized.  We immediately got the cassette soundtrack and spent our weekends dancing and singing to the score at the top of our lungs.

Shame you couldn't see my clumsy ass try to attempt the choreography.  Hi-larious.

Bought a newsboy cap, the book, rented the video a ton of times when it finally came out.  I even wrote to Disney and complained how there were no lyrics to follow.  They sent me a note and an official copy of the lyrics.  That's one of the coolest thing Disney has ever done in my life, no joke.

Mind you, I was becoming obsessed with Max Casella before seeing the movie, and his portrayal of Racetrack clinched the crazy.  I used to collect every picture humanly possible (a daunting task when NPH was the star), and I put them in a little plastic pouch and slept with them.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I taped episodes of Doogie Howser, doodled his name everywhere, and practically wrote fanfic.  I'm sorry, Doog and Vin were one of the HoYay bromance pioneers.  HE FILMED HIM IN THE SHOWER.

Oh please, he didn't want Wanda.

Try and argue with me.  Do you think Doog would let just anyone lovingly hold his stethoscope?  Or jump through his window at any hour of the day?

Why yes, I did buy all the DVDs the moment they came out.  Shut it.

Newsies also brought the bromance.  I can't even begin to list all the moments, perhaps that should be a separate post.  So many of the guys didn't find fame beyond a few more movies or the show Roundhouse. (miss it, bring it to DVD!)  We all know what Christian Bale's been up to, let's consult IMDB for a rundown of some of the others.

David Moscow (David):  I never liked this douche even back during Big.  He's just got such a goody two shoes smarm about him that makes me want to smack that dorky smile off his face.  Wait.  That IMDB pic is kinda hot....and he seemed really sweet and dare I say cute at the Paper Mill Newsies fan day...Shit. 

Luke Edwards (Les):  Ok, not fair.  NOT FAIR.  How is little Les the hottest of them all now?  Hold up, he's my age?  Ok, now I don't feel so gross.  Wait, I was that little in 1991?!  His movie Little Big League was cute.

Gabriel Damon (Spot Conlon):  Yum yum, gimme some.  I only really remember him from that episode of The Commish, and I fuh-reaked at the time.  "Never fear, Brooklyn is here!"

Max Casella (Racetrack):  I've had many chances to see him in shows in NYC, and I always chicken out.  I think I'm terrified of him.  Or at least of having my illusion of him ruined.

Marty Belafsky (Crutchy):  Did we really think he'd look any different all grown up? 

Aaron Lohr (Mush):  I saw him in the off-Broadway show Bare years ago.  He was never really my type.

Trey Parker (Kid Blink):  When South Park premiered years ago, my exact thought was "Kid Blink started a cartoon?!?!"  Different person, but this guy was one of my favorite newsies.

Bill Pullman (Denton):  Love him!!  I saw him in the Broadway show The Goat, and he was positively mesmerizing. 

Shon Greenblatt (Oscar Delancey):  I saw him at a Monster Mania horror con (for Nightmare on Elm St 5).  Somehow I didn't think he'd appreciate me running over and fangirling over Newsies.  Now I see that he went to the musical premiere with his son and was awesome...and I regret my missed opportunity.

Mark David (Specs):  I had to put him in b/c he was my mom's favorite.  I grew to appreciate the nerdy delight as well.

Michael Goorjian  (Skittery):  I didn't realize he made it big!  Good for him.  I found him attractive in that tight pink shirt.

Apparently I didn't follow this movie as closely as I thought, at least during the internet era.  Many of the cast members were bored on set and made a 25 minute short film called Blood Drips Heavily on Newsies Square.  It's actually very creative and well made.  The short is primarily an exercise in young guys cursing up a storm while having "Don Knotts" commit murder because he didn't get a part in the movie.  It is hi-f'n-larious.  Really gives you a new view of all the Newsies (some more graphic than others....), and I highly recommend that every fan should see it.

(That's Lucy Boryer, or Janine from Doogie Howser, as the reporter.  She and Max Casella were together in real life.  Watch his 10 minute interview on the Doogie S2 DVD- it's worth it once you can get past the porn stache.)


The Newsies Lovers website is awesome and hilarious.  Her "Why I Hate Sarah" link alone is worth the visit.  She did all the hard work with these screen caps, and I just have to post a few.

Pelvic thrusting into my young impressionable mind...sigh.

Two for a penny....

 

Chills, y'all.

I'm sorry, Jack totally wanted the younger Delancey.

"What are we supposed to do to the bums, kiss 'em??"

If this turns you on, I can't imagine how you'd react to her as Kitten With a Whip.

Look at that earnest asshole.  Jack's all sweaty yum and he's a buttoned up tool.  With pretty eyes....Shit.

I'll review the show after I see it tonight.  I can already tell you my favorite part will be the choreography.  Until then, headlines don't sell papes....Newsies sell papes.