It's really weird...a few months ago, I was comparing myself to The Office character Dwight Schrute and now I have a position that makes me more like Pam Beesly. I'll essentially be the go-to girl for everything, and I like that. I don't care for managing or supervising at this point in my life and work much better as a "right hand" in a company. Now if only they would pay more! Oh, believe me, I'm not putting down my raise and benefits, but it just really would be nice to hit a certain figure!!
I bought a color Nook to celebrate. Some new clothes that are professional with a retro flair. Am continuing to get my nails and hair done. Got a Kate Spade purse (my first "big girl" bag). Ditched a lot of my shoes yesterday and bought 3 new pairs. I still have nice shoes in the closet, but I bought 2 pairs of super cute yet durable flats (black and red) and a pair of taupe shiny pointy heels. Yeah. You could say those are truly my first "big girl" heels.
I think I'm finally embracing my adulthood. Only took how many years? I still have my dorky and bumming and casual clothes and lots of hot pink....but now it's time to create a polished look for the workplace. I've never wanted to succeed so badly in my life! It's the strangest feeling.
I'm also being insanely serious about weight loss now, and that Nook is a godsend for the gym. I don't let myself read certain things unless I'm at the gym, therefore I will want to go. It's only been 2 weeks, but it already feels better. And as much as I adore sniffing paper, feeling the sharp edges, texture, and creases while holding it up to the light (yeah, I know...insane book nerd), it is amazing to have books at my fingertips that are cheaper and easier to catalogue. Don't think I didn't buy Tina Fey and Steven Tyler's hardbacks on their opening days though!
Getting back on track, I really do want to be a better person. Therapy is helping greatly, and while I wish I could talk about this with my mom, I know she's proud from up above. I know she's always watching me. I'm just trying to finally grow up. Doesn't mean I'm not a total kid at heart, but I need to be able to manage my life better. And now that L and I have made even more steps in solidifying our relationship, it's exciting to think of the possibilities the future will hold for us. We always talk about it, and it'll be so amazing to actually go through with these dreams. Nothing hasty though. That's just not us.
Of course, being a grownup in a mature relationship doesn't mean I'm not desperately trying to put off doing my share of the chores right now. One day this lazy ass side of me will start fading!
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