Goodbye decade, good riddance year

When I started this blog, I was conflicted about turning 30 and all the changes that would come with it.  Little did I know that this whole crazy year was prepping me for one of the hardest losses of my life.

I know life throws obstacles at you and the saying is you never have more than you can handle.  Well, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm starting to feel like I'm a lady of steel right now with everything that's been flung upon me over the past 13 years. 

Now it's going to be over.  Now I can settle everything legally and monetarily and move on with the next steps of my life.  Soon I will learn not to feel guilt and know that my mother is watching over me and smiling hugely over my accomplishments.  I know all she wanted for me was my own life, but this is all still really fresh and hard to feel "happy" over. 

It's even harder knowing that the last milestone Mom was there for was my 30th birthday.  Not marriage, kids, better career, etc.  Yet, I had this urge to break my writer's block and start this blog a few months ago.  I'm starting to think everything happens for a reason.  Everything's been falling into place strangely throughout my life.

JK Rowling was 25 when she lost her mother to MS, and she was creating Harry Potter at the time.  Maybe I have a masterpiece in me as well.  I won't know unless I keep writing, even if it's just about frivolous things, daily life, or pop culture.  I started rereading old books from my childhood and preteen years...it's very interesting to reread from an adult perspective.  I was an avid reader and it was an activity that Mom and I could always do together.  I heard her voice read a line in an old Judy Blume book I just plowed through.  It was crazy!  It also reassured me that she will always be with me in some way.

I've been thinking about resolutions and how I never really keep with them.  One thing Mom often said was, "If I could get out of bed and exercise, I would!"  It was never a dig at me; she was simply stating that she wished she could do something about her permanent condition.  She accepted her MS, but she also got sad now and then when she couldn't do the activities she used to take for granted.  I want to honor her by accomplishing my goals that I've longed to achieve.  There is no use in waning and whining and giving up.  I am able to do so much with my life, and I absolutely want to make the most out of that gift.  Therefore, I resolve to start doing cardio for at least 30 min a day, building slowly as time goes on.  I am not focused on numbers, I am focused on health, well being, and feeling comfortable with myself again.  Getting myself into a consistent active routine will melt this fat away and start showing off the muscle and strength I've developed. 

I'm going to finally finish what I've started and stopped for 10 years.  This new decade is going to begin with love, health, and positive emotions.  I know I can do it with all the amazing friends and family I have surrounding me.